Doctor's Appointment

There's not a much more superfluous thing in the world as a guy at his wife's OB/GYN appointment. We show up to be supportive and have some sort of involvement in the pregnancy, as it's not like we're going to incubate the critter. But really, there's not a whole lot for us to do but sit in the chair in the corner and hold her purse.

Which, let's face it, is a pretty big sacrifice. You know how much we hate holding that thing.

Give a guy a purse to hold. We literally have no idea what to do. It's like giving a monkey a Rubik's Cube. There's a chance we might use the thing correctly, but we're probably going to get bored and throw it somewhere.

There's simply no manly way to hold a purse. You really only have three options. ONE. You can carry it like a football. TWO. You can hold the top of the bag with one hand, holding the bag away from your body as if it contains dog poo. THREE. You can learn telekinesis. You, under no circumstances, should ever touch the straps of a purse or else your arm will become infected with cooties, rot, and fall off. It is not worth the risk.

So, other than holding your purse, we just sit there in the corner and try not to cry like a little girl when they draw blood from you. Seriously, needles freak me out. You're on your own on that front.

Glad to be of support, hon. You are welcome.