Maybe I Should've Gone to Kansas

The Posette’s family has a big card tournament every year in Kansas, which took place this weekend. I thought I was going to have to work, so I stayed home, which sort of sucks. I enjoy her family and I like playing cards. Really, the only drawback is, you know, going to Kansas.

Kansas is not exactly the most happening of states. I wouldn’t say that it sucks, just that Kansas is a little bit slower in pace than I’d like. To each his own, you know? Though I was in Wichita once, and they had a sidewalk display for the Kansas Hall of Fame, and of the six or seven people listed – two were fictional. One, of course, was Dorothy, whose claim to fame is trying to get out of the Technicolor world of Oz and back to Kansas, appropriately shot in black and white.

The other fictional person in the Kansas Hall of Fame was Superman. I hate to break it to Kansas, especially since they devoted so much of their Hall of Fame to people who don’t actually exist, but Superman is not from Kansas. He’s from the planet Krypton, and is the most illegal of illegal aliens. He came over here and took our superhero jobs.

So the Posette, her sister, and her mom drove up to Kansas to lose at cards. I stayed at home to watch college football with Elvis, the Official Dog of Poseur. I hadn’t expected to be at home, so I essentially had 48 hours to do whatever I wanted to do.

This is when I discovered that I simply cannot function without the Posette telling me what to do. Elvis made sure I woke up at a reasonable hour by demanding to go outside, but other than that, I padded around the house without much purpose. On Saturday, I stayed in pajama pants until about 1 PM, when I started to get hungry and realized we had a severe peanut butter and jelly shortage in the house.

I used to be able to function for long stretches without adult supervision, but the Posette has weakened my independent survival skills. I was totally lost without her.

And in about six months, I’m going to be responsible for another human being. I can’t even take care of my own self. I need adult supervision at all times, and pretty soon, I am going to be the adult supervision. That’s just a horrifying thought. I hope the Posette is up to watching two helpless creatures, because that’s my current plan.