"We're pregnant."
Well, not really. It's not like I have to incubate the baby for nine months, much less pass it through my, er, well, someplace uncomfortable. Saying "we're pregnant" is just a way we guys tag along someone else's hard work.
Sure, I'll take the slaps on the back and the obligatory "Way to go, big guy." Really, it was no trouble. Being congratulated for your wife's pregnancy by your in-laws is downright creepy when you think about it. They are congratulating me for having sex with their daughter. Not that I mind, but is not the normal way of things.
However, it's not like I'm not making any sacrifices or I have no part of this thing. Sure, the doctor performed a pretty damn invasive exam on her, not me. But I was at least in the room. They say 90% of anything is showing up, but...
Well, let's just say that other 10% seemed pretty damn significant to me. Sure, I cracked a prostate exam joke to the doctor, who politely laughed but no one is under any illusions here. That's a walk in the park compared to the exams the Posette has been and will be subjected to.
I'm a partner in this, but I'm not an equal partner. My role right now is limited to buying an instruction manual and figuring out our insurance plan. I'm already failing the second, though I did wander around a bookstore on Saturday and purchase a pregnancy book. I'm not gonna lie, those things are intimidating. Some of the books go into such excruciating detail of the medical procedures that I thought I had picked up the wrong book. I don't need to know how to perform the surgery. Hopefully, the doctor knows how to do that.
Still, she's got to do the bulk of the work. I'm just trying not to do anything stupid. Which, given my track record on this planet earth, is probably beyond my capacity. But I'll give it a go.
So what better way to start not doing something stupid than to restart the old Poseur blog? What you're reading as an attempt to keep y'all updated on the Posette's pregnancy. I'll be using pseudonyms for everybody because this is the internet and if someone wants my personal info, I'd like for them to have to put forth a decent effort to get it. Besides, this is an excuse to crank up the old Poseur HQ.
Yay, we're pregnant!
As long as we're reviving old customs, I think its long time I expressed my unneeded, unwelcome, and unkempt opinion over something you've written on the internet.
ReplyDeleteI think you're selling yourself short. Clearly I can't personally attest to the hard work and sweat you've put into the Little Poseur (nor would I want to). But I can, and do, tell the world that you've done a damn fine job of convincing Posette to journey through nine months of unpleasantness, change, and discomfort punctuated by indescribable pain and a larger utility bill. Personally, I can't imagine what you've done that makes Posette's decision in any way, lets call it, rational. So, I've come to the only logical conclusion. You must be batman. At night, when noone's looking but the Posette, you adorn a cape and cowl and fight off the crime of the city. Then, you come home to a adoring Posette, who eagerly awaits the return of your unmatched and unrelenting manliosity. And that, my crime-fighting friend, sounds like hard work to me. Respect.
Love,
Uncle Matt
My chest hair makes the bat symbol.
ReplyDeleteNo, seriously.