The Pickle Myth

I always thought the pickle thing was a myth. Sort of the go-to joke for hacky comedians when they run out of material about airline food.

Nope. Not a myth.

I grilled some hamburgers last Friday and when I was at the store getting meat and buns, I also picked up a jar of pickle stackers to put on the burgers. I put precisely one pickle slice on each burger, leaving the rest of the jar in the fridge.

By the next Friday, the pickles were gone. The pickle jar has since been replaced by another jar of pickles, which I'm pretty sure won't last the week. I've also discovered that the Posette downed a jar of pickles the previous week as well.

Now, I like pickles as much as the next guy. I enjoy a crisp dill spear with a sandwich.* I think my pickle consumption would be measured right at the national median, if tested by the Department of Pickle Consumption, one of the more obscure U.S. government agencies. In our pre-pregnancy days, a jar of pickles would stay in our fridge for about a few weeks, if not months. Now, we are going through pickles at an advanced rate.

*Ed Note -- However, I do love sandwiches. Sandwiches are easily my favorite food. They are incredibly dynamic - hot, cold, closed-faced, open-faced, with an almost unlimited number of toppings. The Posette often complains about my sandwich consumption, which is Dagwood-esque. Now, she's got an arrow in her anti-sandwich quiver.

Apparently, pregnant women are not supposed to consume cold cuts. I think this is just one of those made up rules, as our doctor seemed completely unaware of any reason for a cold cut prohibition. So I think it's a diabolical plan by the Anti-Sandwich lobby.

The Posette has also taken to drinking the pickle juice, once she has run out of pickles. You know, just to fight cramping in case the Cowboys ask her to play some in their dime package. Because that's the only reason I can possibly imagine someone to willingly ingest pickle juice.

She claims it is not a craving. She just likes pickles. Now, this could be true. That her heretofore dormant love of massive pickle consumption existed, but I never noticed since I'm too lazy to actually go to the grocery store. That is a possibility, I must admit.

But I don't think so. Buy stock in Vlasic. It may be the only safe investment in these troubled economic times.